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I feel the need to write…. 

I just left a comment on someone’s page about how I feel about affairs…. my opinion is that affairs are cowardly & selfish & should never happen.  But I also don’t think it’s someone else’s duty to please us to the point where we won’t stray.   It’s not my husband’s job to ensure that he can read my mind in order to know without question or without me saying a word, that my needs are being met!   How about I take some responsibility there… how about if he’s dropping the ball on my emotional needs I say something.  How about if I’m feeling insecure about something I tell him…. how about I be a grown up.   How about I have higher expectations of myself that go beyond allowing myself to cheat on the one I claim to love?  How about me forcing myself to be honest with myself about who I am and they type of love I bring to the table in my marriage – how about I not learn how to put things out of my mind so that I don’t feel guilty when I should.  How about I lose sleep over betraying my love. How about I think about what’s going to happen to my children when my spouse finds out I cheated and care about someone else’s future more than getting laid or being told how fucking awsome I am….

I don’t understand why people cheat.  I have read more articles on this than I ever thought I would to try to understand and they all say the same bullshit.   “I didn’t feel valued at home so I strayed” or some form of that cope out excuse.  I don’t buy into it at all……

My reality was stripped from me in a manner that a child is forcefully stolen from her mother’s arms….. I was stripped of my reality without ever having an opportunity to fight for the world I lived in.  My world was TAKEN from me without my consent & there’s nothing that makes that ok.   

I will not ever ever ever say ‘yea, I totally understand why he/she would have an affair”…. I will never be ok with someone who lies, decieves & feels entitled to take what is NOT theirs to take.   You want to feel like A MAN?????  Than man up & DON’T cheat… it is the most beautiful thing you can offer someone – honesty & accountability.    

My husband disconnected from me during his emotional affair – imagine if I’d cheated too because he wasn’t paying enough attention to me…. he certainly wasn’t fulfilling my emtional needs, so what if I did too…. imagine a world where people shit on their loves whenever they felt like it because they felt the right to do whatever the fuck they wanted.   What kind of world would we live in?   I can’t respect anyone who says I cheated on you because you didn’t pay enough attention to me.   pffft fuck ok. whatever.